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Story Info

Posting Date 2003-08-20 21:42:56
Author candycanegirl
Title Love hurts
Category dumped a partner or got dumped
Where it happend Home
Age then 21
Age now 34
Gender FEMALE
Viewed 91
Story Length 968
Status
Rating

(2 votes / 17 points)

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Love hurts

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I was 21 when I had my first love, I met him in a bar, he was a bouncer there, when I first saw him, he made my heart melt, and when he asked me to dance and he held me in his arms, I just melted. He asked me for my phone number and I was so excited, I waited and waited for him to call me, it took about a week and he finally did, he asked me to go out with him, but only gave me a hours notice, but I didnt care I wanted to see him and be with him so bad that I said yes, I went and got ready as fast as I could, and when he showed up he had a rose in his hand and a great big smile, I will never forget that day.

Well we continued to see each other and date alot, and of course I fell in love with him, but as time went by I noticed a change in him, he wasnt acting the same, he became angry alot, saying hateful things to me, hitting me,not showing up when he should, I started seeing lies from him, and ofcourse this hurt so much because I was so in love with him.
One day I walked into the bathroom on him,and there he was sitting on the floor shooting drugs into his arm, he had forgot to lock the door, he looked up into my eyes, and I just stood there in shock. This explains it I thought, the abuse, the mood swings, this wasnt the same man I fell in love with.

But now by this time I was pregnant with his baby, the man I loved more then anything and wanted to be with the rest of my life, yes he asked me to marry him and a part of me wanted too, but then the other part knew that
there was really no future for us. I didnt want to be with a abuser, I didnt want to be abused any more. But then I think of the good times, the times we danced in each others arms, the times that I could talk to him and tell him anything, the times he looked at me and told me he loved me. Its almost like a force, It drags you back in, you think I can change him, things will get better, and when he tells you I love you and I will never hurt you again, I believe him, I want to belive him, I want things to be like they use to be, so I stay.

Well I had the baby shortly after that, it was New Years eve, a night you ring in the year with that one special person, so I thought. He opens the wine and has a glass, then another, til hes finished off the whole bottle. He turns and looks at me, and I knew something was wrong, something was going to happen. I get up to walk away, to the bedroom, to get away, but as soon as I got there he was on top of me throwing me to the floor, I felt my head hit the floor, my hair being pulled, he turns me over on my back and starts hitting me in the face, then moves down and starts hitting me in the stomach, hitting our baby that was too be born in two weeks, I am screaming for help, pounding on the floor, hoping the people below me will hear my screams, then he grabs my throat and starts chocking me, I thought hes going to kill me, know one can hear my screams, it seemed like it lasted forever, then someone grabbed him off of me, it was a neighbor, they did hear my screams. I heard someone say call the police, but he said no dont worry im leaving.

My neighbors wanted me to go to the hospital, but I said no, I just wanted to be alone, to think, to figure out why the man I loved could do this. Well I sat there all night by myself thinking, how could I do this any more, how could I put myself thru this again,how could I bring a baby into this.

Well toward the morning I felt awful pains in my stomach, I knew I was going to have this baby. I was scared, I knew it was too early, I knew that what he had done to me was going to bring our baby here early. I went and called a friend to take me to the hospital, while waiting for her I started grabbing clothes out of drawers, as I was taking them out some letters fell to the ground, I picked them up and they were letters to him, I opened one and read it, it was a letter from another girl he has been seeing.
How much more pain can I take, why is he doing this to me, what am I suppose to do. 3 hours later my beautiful baby girl is born, I hold her, and I know. I know that I dont want to be abused any more, I dont want to hate mysef anymore, and I dont want my daughter to be abused. I will give her a life she deserves, a life where she is safe, a life where she is loved.

Well its been 13 years since that night, I am married now, to a wonderful caring husband who has adopted my daughter, he has been a wonderful husband and father. You see I never went back, oh he tried to get us back, but I knew it was time to end the abuse.


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