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Story Info

Posting Date 2003-08-08 17:51:51
Author paemt6220
Title End of a long love(maybe)
Category dumped a partner or got dumped
Where it happend My home
Age then 19
Age now 20
Gender MALE
Viewed 7
Story Length 907
Status
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End of a long love(maybe)

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Chris and I were together for about 4 years. I thought she was the answer to the thing I had wished for for years. A girl that I loved that loved me, that I would fing the rest of my life with. We were however, not in love for 4 years. We were in love, at least to me, for about 2 1/2 years. I do believe that she feels the same way. For about 1 to 1 1/2 years we didn't really get along well. We did love eachother, but more as friends than lovers. She had pretty much been living with me for about 2 years when we broke up. We were kinda like room mates with benifits. That was basicly the only reason we were together toward the end. Even with that, we never had sex. She wanted to wait for marrige. I repected that. I wanted to wait for the right person. After about a year and a half I thought that was her. I can't say I didn't ask if she would reconsider, but I didn't really push for it. Even if we didn't love eachother as lovers anymore, we still were friends and I didn't want to ruin that.

I realy did care about her the entire time we were together. That caring just changed over the years. It went from an intiminte love to a friendship and then to just keeping her from doing things that she would regret. She is a person who can't take care of herself. I and some other friends feel se has some real mental problems. We started to grow apart. I became a very jelous person. She was seeing other guys, which she was just as friends. I didn't think so. In the end I believe she was looking for someelse to be with, which I am ok with. It is something I should have done too. We were still together, but, We were together out of convience. That may seem strange but that is the truth. We both had the same personality. One that requires us to be with "someone". It was convient that we were already together. I didn't realize that until after we broke up. I wish I had realized it sooner.

Well, Chris started to spend a lot of one of my friends. I saw it as soon as it started. I let it go to see what she would do. She didn't say anything. It went on for about a month like that. One day we went out wish some friends. He was there. She was standing by him most of the night. When we got home I asked her want was going on between them. She said nothing. I said that was a lie. I then told her that I had told her for a long time that if she wanted to be with someone else, all she had to do was tell me. I had been saying that because we had not been in love for a long time and I expected one of us to find someone else. She ten said they were just friends. I asked if she wanted to be with him. She didn't answer. I didn't know what to say.

I finally said,"I am not going to sit around for you two to fall in love and you to leave me. I told her if she wanted to be with me she had to find a way to prove it to me. She said she didn't know how. I told her she had to leave. I then told her I wanted her to leave right then and make sure she took everything with her because I didn't ever want her were again. That was in Jan of 03, this is Aug of 03 and she still has not been back here. That day in January was the worst day of my life, so I thought. The next 3 months were worse. I didn't know what I was alive for. I had lost the only person other than my family I ever loved. I got so depressed my frined came to me and said they felt I should get profesinal help. I said I was fine. A few days later I hit the bottom. It, however was not in the way I thought it would be. I started to feel something strange This went on for about 2 months. Then it hit me, I still love her. I love her as the best friend I ever had. To be honest, I can't stand to be with her but I do love her. Now I am straining over whether it is my place to tell her that the guy she is with is probably going to ask her to marry him. The problem I have with it is, he is going to ask because he knows it is the only way she will have sex with anyone. I'm not sure if it my place to tell her that. She either can't see it or doesn't want to. There are several other people who are concerned about her too. One of them is her best friend for many years, who I am now friends with. If anyone has any advise it would be appreitated.


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